Kristie Collins
a Crisis Life CoachHelping you be the woman that God wants and needs you to be!
Hi, I’m Kristie! A cheerleader by heart, I love to see Christian women break the shackles of marital betrayal and childhood traumas.
2-4-6-8-3, let’s heal that heart and set you FREE! (Pretty cheesy, huh?)
My Story
I was born into a traditional American family in the 60s. Dad worked, and Mom stayed home. Two older brothers and I filled out the rest of a small home in a Florida suburb and my parents settled into an unhappy marriage. Fighting, tension and isolation was common between them, and the dysfunction trickled down to me as sexual abuse began early into my young life. By the time I was 11, I had been sexually abused a number of times and I was gang raped by 12. With limited resources to assist me I learned my voice didn’t matter and was an outcast at school and at home. My dad eventually left us, and I felt abandoned. High school was only made better by being a cheerleader, however I continued to search for love… ‘in all the wrong places’ and dove deeper into bad choices reaping difficult consequences. Trauma, heartbreak and disappointment were woven into my daily life.
Fast forward into a second marriage bathed by church activities and children. “This is it.” I thought. “This must be the good life I’ve been searching for.” Yet, 18 years into our marriage, fighting, tension and isolation became my constant companion until I learned the cold, hard truth. My husband had been unfaithful. I couldn’t breathe. My heart stopped. This couldn’t be happening to me. More pain. More trauma. What do I do now?
Ladies, it’s been almost 10 years since that fateful day, and I couldn’t be happier. My husband’s betrayal unwrapped such pain that once I unpeeled the first layer, I begged God to help me examine ALL the other hurts in my life and work towards complete heart healing.
And I did.
But real talk. It was hard.
There were plenty of tears, tantrums and reconciling my powerlessness in my marriage and past traumas…
“BUT GOD”
… showed up day after day and led me to a land of hope and healing for my aching heart. I learned new relationship skills and I learned to walk in a ‘new normal’ world of peace and joy, laughter and fun. I learned to become the real ‘ME’.
And now I’m here to stand in the gap for YOU!
Be Radiant,
Kristie
My Baseline Beliefs
Hurt People Hurt People
I’ve come to realize that my parents brought their childhood traumas and brokenness into their marriage. Honestly, so did I. So did my husband. Looking back, I can say we didn’t stand much of a chance and our collision crash was bound to happen sooner or later. We can’t get pretend this doesn’t happen so, instead, let’s heal those hearts and learn to have AMAZING marriages!
You Can't Control Other People
Nope. You just can’t. You can manipulate them but that’s just fake acceptance. Instead of begging and trying to control our spouses, let’s work towards relationships that are open, honest and transparent. You be you and let them be them! (Don’t worry: We’ll spend a LOT of time learning how to do this in small group!)
The Most Often Question Asked is... "How Did This Happen?"
Quite simply- Sin. Satan uses anything he can to dangle the promises of love and acceptance in front of us. It’s not real but it doesn’t matter. If he can destroy a marriage- he will. If he can destroy your husband- he will. If he can destroy you- he will try. It’s time to fight back!
My Approach
I believe using a ‘holistic’ approach (mind, body and soul) to marital betrayal and trauma healing work allows for an awareness that’s needed to bring transformation and healing.
First. You are the most important person on this journey. Not your husband. Not your children. Not your in-laws. Not your co-workers. Just YOU! My job is to care well for you during our time together.
Second. There is a short game and a long game to learn and master. Sometimes we’ll work on the ‘here and now’ and other times we’ll strategize options for future decisions.
Third. Small victories provide courage for greater challenges. We’ll celebrate EVERY right thought, action or conversation. ALL. DAY. LONG. We’ll reward you and then push you dig deeper! (Think emotional burpees!)
Fourth. The decisions you’ll make are secondary to the reason you’re making them. We’ll explore roadblocks and triggers, break down options and develop core competencies that will last a lifetime!
Fifth: You’re not alone. (It takes a village to heal a woman!) Every small group will provide a safe place to practice hard conversations, learn to be vulnerable and enjoy a sisterhood, bonded through tears, trauma, love and laughter, that will last a lifetime.
